He was sexy though, hence why I kept seeing him, and he didn't seem to mind my bruises which I had on my chest.
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Paul was different because I kept seeing him, we went on dates but I eventually cut him off because I was just not comfortable with my body and he was OBSESSED with himself and all he talked about was him and the other men was talking to. Obviously I was just experimenting at the time because I had just turned 18 and I guess I wanted validation in a way, which was super bad and unhealthy and I realize that now! But I was genuinely enjoying myself too. I had slept with a lot of men before this (I just turned 18 and discovered Grindr LOL) but they were all very brief hookups and I never saw any of em again. We went on a few dates and saw each other a decent amount of times, but we only ever made out because I wasn't comfortable with my body and I didn't want to have sex with him because I felt so vulnerable. We met on Grindr in 2020 during the pandemic. I saw one in particular (named Paul for privacy purposes) for only a year, but it was an intense "relationship" (we weren't dating just hooking up) in that period of time. I've also known that I've liked older men for a long time now, and I've been seeing them since I was 18. This will be a lil long and frankly sounds made up but for anybody who's listening:īackground on me- I'm 21, mixed ethnicity, known I've been gay since I was 8-9 years old. I've been wanting to share my story for a bit. I don't know why I felt this was the most romantic thing that could ever happen to us. I would NEVER want anyone to see me sick.lol (I'm vain).
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However, he's a big WUSSY BABY when he's sick.lol. I think coming to someone when you're your weakest shows trust. It's at this moment that I realized that we're falling in love with each other. I guess I have that old vow in my head "for richer or poorer, sickness and health, etc" as the reason why I thought this was acceptable. Half my friends thought that it was rude that he'd come and bring whatever sickness (could be COVID) to me and the other half felt that he trusted me enough to come to me sick. He took a hot shower and then got dressed for work (he has clothes here because I wash his clothes). I made chicken with wild rice soup, more tea.
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I put in the movie Casino (he was 1yo when it came out.lol).He watched it intensely which was the point for him to forget about being sick. I prepared the couch for him and let him lay on it and tucked him in. He slept well and the next day, he had more life in him. I told him that's no good for someone sick but I made them anyway. He asked for my baked chocolate chip cookies. I gave him theraflu, toast, lemon/ginger tea and tucked him into bed.
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He had chills, nausea, headache and a light fever. I let him in and he immediately stripped off his clothes and went to bed. So, I was sleeping and I heard the door buzzer.